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I had one ... in t'olden days. Binned it when I found out there were others available. I think Kent was the next brush I bought after spotting one in John Lewis.

Czech & Speake #88 Floris Special 127 Floris Elite Penhaligon's Blenheim Bouquet Penhaligon's Hammam Bouquet Penhaligon's English Fern Not really that impressed with anything made by the barbers or the chemist. Ironically, my favourite is made by a company famous for its taps.

Pot Noodle sandwich

La plume de ma tente

Leeds brush ? Nice #MOT #ALAW #WACCOE

Yeah, that's why I didn't include it. The new stuff isn't like the old stuff. Mandate, Report and Insignia were good ones ... in their day. A short-lived one was Matchroom which was nice.

Scents have got weaker, and people apply less. Both are negative trends. I recently watched a burly-looking fella of (I'm guessing) middle-eastern descent, walk up to the Chanel counter in Boots and spray himself very liberally with No. 5. He might as well have ripped the sprayer off and tipped...

Rubbing wrists breaks molecular (electron level) bonds, yeah? Pretty sure that's not how molecular bonds work but it's been a few years since I failed o-level chemistry.

Discarded bongo mags in the bushes ... "hedge porn"

Denim Brut Old Spice Anyone born in UK before 1980 probably owes their very existence to one of those

Saturday Night and Sunday Morning

Chanel Cuir De Russie EDT

Nice stuff. For all the negatives Kouros receives (mainly made-up or regurgitated nonsense from failed creative writers and shrieking drama queens) I've always considered it a simple spicy orange scent.

What a faff Water, foam, shave, water Job jobbed

FFS, water will kill you in a big enough quantity Loosen your bra straps and live a bit You've got to die of something

My wife buys me a new can of shaving foam or packet of blades as and when they run out. I just stick them on her shopping list. When I snuff it, I don't won't anyone having to go through my things thinking "this bloke was clearly a nutter" before lobbing everything in the skip.

Couple of dabs of Chanel Cuir De Russie perfume and a couple of sprays of the EDT

I reckon if Uri tried to bend those with the power of his mind, he would end up catapulting his brains out his ear 'oles.

Absolutely. Take it steady though.

Yeah, all me. This is probably a week's worth of bending.