- Joined
- Tuesday March 5, 2013
- Location
- Essex
Ronnie Barker Script
In Memory of a very funny man
This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the
seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though
god knows how many takes) Irony is that they received not one complaint.
must have been the speed of delivery was too much for the whining herds.
Try getting through it without converting the
spoonerisms as you read;
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge
lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss
pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was
called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were
really forrible huckers;
They had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly
isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy
fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light
rucking fesbian.
She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking
cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by
dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome
hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve.
"Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she
ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on
Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty
Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.
"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame
that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown
cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters
without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the
prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had
bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted
pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The
pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived
hers with a follen swanny.
In Memory of a very funny man
This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the
seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though
god knows how many takes) Irony is that they received not one complaint.
must have been the speed of delivery was too much for the whining herds.
Try getting through it without converting the
spoonerisms as you read;
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge
lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss
pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was
called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were
really forrible huckers;
They had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly
isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy
fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light
rucking fesbian.
She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking
cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by
dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome
hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve.
"Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she
ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on
Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty
Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.
"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame
that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown
cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters
without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the
prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had
bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted
pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The
pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived
hers with a follen swanny.
