"The Vicar's Salary‏

[SamuraiJack]

The Vicar's Salary
>
> At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger
> congregation that will pay him more.
> There is a hush within the congregation.
>
> No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.
>
> Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Glasgow, stands up and
> proclaims:
> 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and
> his wife with a Volkswagen mini-van to transport their children!'
>
> The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
>
> Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if the
> Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a
> foundation to guarantee private secondary school education for all of his
> children!'
>
> More sighs and loud applause.
>
> Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
> 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him free sex.'
>
> There is total silence.
>
> The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
> 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to
> say that?'
>
> Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his
> forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking
> his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
> 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Fuck him'.