And after a grand entrance some days back I once again disappeared, only to return with a handful of shaves. My piss weak excuse for this week? Decorating. More Shades Of The Week, or 50 shades of magnolia.
So here they are, my past three shaves and all commonly themed, 'Hallucinating on childhood cartoons'. Each shave shall be sub-themed, which has been accepted as legal by the Board Of Theming Things.
Ahem
Sunday - Lamb of socks
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Shari Lewis the razor - Yaqi Excalibur
Hand in sock blade - Feather Professional
Lolly Pincus brush - Highlander TSR LE
Soapy hands - Floris Elite
Grilled lamb chops - Oil of Ulay
Size 11 socks - Floris Elite
'Ah, socks. My favourites'
Strange women putting their hand inside an old sock and talking to it was a sure fire way for children to turn to Hallucinagenic substances. Sugar, food additives and brocoli.
The underrated Excalibur. A cracking little piece of cheap rubbish which just happens to shave rather nicely. A thank you to the blade and in the bin you go. See you in a later life, another blade? Still a decent enough shave with pleasing results and the smell of elitism.
Monday - Muffin the Mule and other things
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No strings attached razor - Ikon B1
Muffin the blade - Gillette 7-O'Clock
(A rather dangerous activity)
Kirri the brush - PAA Peregrino
Zebbie the soap - Savonniere Moulin
Hubert the balm - L'Occitane Cade
Sally the scent - Floris No.89
Have you ever seen such a drunken donkey? I grew up being terrified of anything with strings attached. Hence I spent my summers filling in anglers and letting tents down. I attended Alcoholics Anonymous at the age of seven.
A very themic soap and nice to get the little donkey soap out once in a while. I am never quite so sure how to load the brush from this, but I muddle through. The Ikon B1? A god because it is. And a godlike finish. In my case the God of Clown Shoes.
Tuesday - Mr Ben does drugs
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Mr Ben the razor - Stainless Mongoose
Mr Ben the blade - Kai Titan mild
Mr Ben the brush - AP Shaving 24mm Cashmere
Mr Ben the soap - MDC Fougere
Mr Ben the balm - Collagen
Mr Ben the scent - Hermes terre d'hermes
The only people I can think of who 'suddenly appear' are local dealers. Hence I was often picked up by the local constabulary for asking anyone wearing strange hats 'have you got a score?'. These included the postman, the local vicar and the odd policeman or two. Oddly, all very obliging to help.
I blame Mr Ben, the Magic roundabout, Muffin the Mule, Bill and Ben, Rhubarb and Custard and Captain Pugwash. The latter being my childhood hero who I tried my best to emulate in later life. And came close.
And the shave? A new blade and a wonderfully close and damn fine bit of razormanship. All assisted by the superb MDC (Still can't make a dent in the contents. Is it magic? Or is it the drugs?) and all topped off with the bodacious Hermes Terre.
And as if by magic a stonkingly brilliant shave appeared.
No Japanese ladies so far? Not to fret, indeed there is. Why, it's those Beavers from Otoboke and their concept of a modern day cartoon....
