There I am in Boots with SWMBO....

hunnymonster

hunnymonster

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.... when the Gillette marketing dolly sidles up to me and says "How do you shave?"

"Actually I wetshave daily using a Gillette razor, why's that then?"

GMD: "Can I interest you in the new Gillette Fusion PowerGlide at all?"
me: "Not really..."
GMD: "This <marketing bollocks that I missed> new Fusion PowerGlide gives you the best and closest ever shave"
me: "I shave the way I do, because every other way has given me massive irritation. Tell me, how many times have you shaved your face in the last 12 months that makes you the expert?"
GMD: "erm"
me: "Never mind, I last shaved at about 9 last night, using a 90 year old razor, a single blade to an antique pattern & soap to a 120 year old recipe. Have a feel of my cheek and tell me what's wrong with my shave."
GMD: "wow"
me: "Anyway, at around 5p per shave - including aftershave, heating the water & laundering the towel, I think your £3 per cartridge might just work out more expensive and irritate my face into the bargain"

That's when SWMBO said "come on, let's go"
 
Mrs.M has learned to recognise a certain look in my eye that precedes me challenging marketing people.

Just as I am drawing breath before my opening salvo, she has this smart knack of distracting me before I can get going.

Probably for the best, I suppose.

Ian
 
Recently I was approached in a supermarket by a young man with a clipboard who wanted to interest me in the cable network that he represented - all he had to do was fill his form with a few simple details that I should supply and the services would be supplied - nothing could be simpler.
I declined.
He demanded of me what possible reason I could give for this - when all he had to do was fill his form for me to receive this service.
I declined to give a reason.
He then followed me to the checkout queue and finally demanded did I or did I not want him to fill his form.
I replied that he could fill his trousers for all I cared, and bade him withdraw.
This he did - with very bad grace.
 
Nowadays when I get the inevitable call from a telemarketing person, I deny that I am the 'lady of the house', deny that the 'gentleman of the house' is in, and claim no knowldge of when if ever they will return. That's when I'm in a good mood. If not so perky, when they ask 'How are you today' I say, 'Feeling like I don't want to be sold anything over the phone'. Or if I'm downright irritable, I say 'Really annoyed to be phoned at home by someone I didn't give my number to.
 
The last power company guy that came to our door asked my wife if her parents were home, she said she was the woman of the house and was thirty two, then my daughter wandered down the hall. He looked awkard, apologised, said he felt old and left.

I think I need the same presciption he has.
 
soapalchemist said:
Nowadays when I get the inevitable call from a telemarketing person, I deny that I am the 'lady of the house', deny that the 'gentleman of the house' is in...
Click to expand...

I usually answer in my normal gruff voice and they ask to speak to the lady of the house I say "I am the lady of the house, are you trying to suggest something?" :lol: :lol:
 
Oh and if RWE nPower come to my door, they get escorted to the bottom of the drive to ensure they leave.

We used to think they were bad as the North Eastern Electricity Board... they went downhill as Northern Electric... it plummeted when they rebranded as nPower. To me it's inexplicable why RWE kept the brand. A bunch of less useful wankers I have not had the "pleasure" of interacting with. If they were the last energy supplier on earth, I'd be making my own candles.

An illustration of nPower's "prowess" with electricity supply, something that they had been in the business of doing as NEEB and it's progenitor companies (for example NESCO) since 1889... they changed a meter in a house where I was responsible for paying the bill... but didn't bother to record that fact, so no final reading on the old meter (it was around 70000) and when the next meter reading happened (by an nPower reader) it was 00430... this resulted in a bill for a 3 month period in a domestic premises for about 30000kWh... which I as an electrical engineer managed to calculate that the supply cable was incapable of actually supplying.

Not long after that an nPower contractor, driving an nPower mechanical digger put his nPower digger through an nPower cable, which went bang and everyone's electric went off in the street for 2 days while nPower located the fault... apparently the skidmark and the big melted "chew" out of the nPower digger weren't a big enough clue.
 
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