Tomatoes

Gairdner/ Pig cat,
they both made me laugh but now you've encouraged me. I only know two 'ahem' jokes.
Here's my final one............ drum roll please......

A man walks into a DIY shop
"one tin of green paint please"
Assistant: Sorry sir we only have brown
"That's okay, I have my bicycle outside"

I'm a hit at parties:icon_sad:
 
Grunter said:
Gairdner/ Pig cat,
they both made me laugh but now you've encouraged me. I only know two 'ahem' jokes.
Here's my final one............ drum roll please......

A man walks into a DIY shop
"one tin of green paint please"
Assistant: Sorry sir we only have brown
"That's okay, I have my bicycle outside"

I'm a hit at parties:icon_sad:
Click to expand...

:icon_razz: Now I feel stupid. Whenever I tell that joke I get mixed up and have the assistant say "blue" or "red", so no wonder it always falls flat. It's only funny with brown.
 
Stan said:
I went to Kevin Webster's garage. He said something about bald and barely legal. I thought he was talking about my tyres
Click to expand...

That joke's very rude. :mad:

Sorry but this thread has made me come over all pureetanical. :icon_rolleyes: :angel:
 
My wife told me to get in touch with my feminine side,

So I reversed into her car.

Two cows watch a horse go into the slaughterhouse.

One nudges the other and grumbles," damn foreigners coming over here and taking our jobs"

I personally still really enjoy a nice Findus Lasagne

I guess it's just equestrian of taste. :icon_rolleyes:
 
The government are set to introduce a tax on fizzy drinks.

I'm not paying that, so I'll be chewing my Alka Seltzers from now on.

I decided to test out the theory that if you throw a cat off a building they will always land on their feet.

It's true, by the time it took me to get outside the cat had already got himself a steady job, a decent house and his own family.

What do you call a gay cowboy?

Clint Eatswood.
 
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