Des Champs. Born Glasgow 1898 to parents Laga and Tennent McEwan. A well known drunkard in his local watering hole 'The Cock and Seaman' who later found fame pretending to be French and selling a urinal to the Tate. He is also the inspiration to this shave themed after him, 'Résumé numéro cinq, fountain'
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A fountain of razors - Razorock Hawk V3
A urinal of blades - Feather Professional
A toilet brush - Yaqi Dandelion
Urine soap - York Swirling Soapery Arabian Dreams
Toilet gel - Nivea moisturiser
'You try finding a blokes wall mounted piss pot in a women's toilet'
'Fountain' by Des Champs. Often thought of as being a example of conceptual art but actually evolved while Des, in an inebriated state, accidently ripped a urinal of a pub wall. In order to make a few bob for another case of Aldi North Korean lager he sold the piece to the Tate gallery for 3s/6d. A princely sum which bought two cases with a free poster of Kim Jong Un with the message
'맥주를 마시고 담배를 피워도 행복하세요'
My shave
'Satan, I am your lather', and it was. I really like this Swirling Soapery stuff. At first I just thought 'Got to support these smaller artisan people', but in reality it is a superb bit of lathery Soapery. A killer scent and great properties. The Dandelion does what the Dandelion does. My first experience of a Cashmere knot and still a fine performer today. Lather happiness.
As much as I have been using quite a few DE's of recent there is something still advantageous of SE razors. Far less mirror time which in my case is a massive plus for the mirror. 'Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the ugliest of them all?'. I really didn't know mirrors could laugh.
I remember reading, 'SE blades. Blades the size of windscreen wipers'. May I suggest to those people you buy a new car. Mine are 75cm and would be pretty difficult to shave with. Plus I don't think rubber is the ideal material for shifting facial fluff. As it is though SE blades are superbly efficient and have a longevity probably better than my wipers. In this case the Feather is a wonderful match to the Hawk and a superbly
effortless three passes to shaving heaven.
Time for a piss. 'Where the fuck has the urinal gone? Des......'
And free with every two cases of South Korean Lager you get a performance from Drinking Boys and Girls Choir
And just in case you thought I was just making up a silly name for a pub, here is what we got locally some 10 years or so back
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And to think they had plans turned down for 'The Cock n Cider'
