No pic from me today, it doesn't warrant one. If I were a proud man I'd just avoid posting altogether, pretend nothing happened. But I'm not, I'm human and honest. I seem to have turned into The Butcher of Windsor. Decided I'd give the Baurmann a run out. I knew it needed a bit of a sharpen, I gave it a good strop and thought I'd see how I got on, evaluate how far I need to take it. Well. I don't know where my head was during the shave, but frankly I'm surprised it wasn't rolling around in the basin by the end! Claret everywhere! I looked like one of those clowns out of a B movie schlock horror. The only soundtrack that could accompany this would have to be Rammstein.
I don't think they ever wrote a suitable song so I'll have to write my own:
(Gruff scary close-miked Till Lindemann unsettling storyteller voice)*
Ein alter Mann rasierte sich, Rasiermesser in der Hand. Sanfte Sanfte die Haut entfernt, und blutete vor Schand'. (insert Gothic female warbly vocal break)
Ein Gesicht volle Seife, 'ne kleine Fehler, rote Streife, das Blut in einer Rinne geflossen, so hat der arme Mann den Schmerz genossen. (Insert 2 heavy drum hits, Blam! Blam!)
Erneut, die Klinge zu der Backe, und wieder Haut tiefst geschnitten. Der Typ kommt gleich in Gottes Acker, so hat der armer Mann gelitten. Nun darf der nicht mehr aus dem Haus, der arme Kerl, er blutet aus. Blam! Blam! (Insert disarmingly gentle yet sad melody) Blam! Blam!
And now I literally can't go out, I look like I've put my face through a window ffs. Not often I cock up a shave, but today was not my day. At least I can get the frustration out with some extra dark German 'poetry' (sorry
@Ebberman you're welcome to disagree with my use of the word today!)
I suppose I ought to put in a rough translation of the German in case Google doesn't help. Sorry I can't make it rhyme in both languages!
An old man was shaving, cutthroat in his hand. Gently gently he removed his skin, bleeding for shame.
A face full of soap, one small mistake, a red stripe. The blood flowed like a stream, this is how he enjoyed the pain.
Once more he brought the blade to his cheek, again cutting deeply into the skin. He's going to be at the Pearly Gates soon, such is the suffering. And now he can't leave the house, the poor guy is bleeding out...
Now you know why I like Rammstein, for those times when only dark teutonic muttering will do.
And now I literally can't go out, I look like I've put my face through a window ffs. Not often I cock up a shave, but today was not my day. At least I can get the frustration out with some extra dark
*If you're unfamiliar with Rammstein, this song will give you an idea of the voice, and the disarming melody etc.
- I.
