A Tuesday evening and here I am reporting my shaves from this past Saturday and Monday. A useless man? Indeed I am, but you are getting two SOTD's for the price of one and I won't charge you any extra.
These particular shaves are dedicated to
@Blademonkey and arrive here duly themed 'A tale of two pies'. Two shaves sharing those wonderful sides of life, pies and gluttony. I would have dedicated it to Slimmer's World but it might of been a bit of a kick in the nads for them.
Some weeks back I had the great pleasure of meeting the Monkey of the blade during a visit to Yorkshire by the man himself. Wonderful to meet the primate with a sharp piece of steel, and wonderful to meet someone from the forum if only to prove we are not all Bots, even if we do repeat the same task over and over again. My wife thinks differently and often changes my batteries.
Move one week ahead and as far as I could make out the simian with a razor had successfully eaten his way around a large number of quality pie emporiums in the Yorkshire Wolds. It is also notable at this point that it is not every emporium which sells rejected and shite shaving equipment to a gullible audience. Anyone want a tuck of some Proshave S AC blades which haunt my shaving cabinet and throw themselves at me whenever said cabinet is opened? Honestly, they're superb(?). In theory the Tree dweller with a cutting edge should have arrived back home several stone heavier.
Saturday.........
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Rabbit and black treacle pie - ATT G1
Escargot and strawberry custard pie - GEM
Cucumber and beetroot pie (my nightmare) - Yaqi Dandelion
Fish and vegetables in a thick beef gravy pie - MDC Rose
The sick puppy
Not a man to be beaten this was a chance to put to bed my previous bloodfest with the ATT G1.
Visit the web and read everything I can on the G1. Study a number of photos to check I am assembling the razor correctly (tick), repeat (a Bot thing). Say thank you to the PM's I kindly received from a number of TSR members who were probably checking up I was still alive and not yet dead from traumatic blood loss. Apparently the biggest warning given was 'You won't like the G1 as it is far too mild for my taste'. Everything appears to be in good order.
In passing ATT really have gone to town on the assembly side of this razor. Dinners and dogs do come to mind. I do wonder how many shavateers have arrived in A&E with a Gem blade stuck out the end of their finger?
Ah well, all being good, go for it.
I am taking care here after my last misadventure and even the word 'mild' has me airing on the cautious side of life. Indeed it is exactly that, mild. No great issue and going great guns. Both cheeks out of the way and may be it is mild but doing a grand job..........
Then out of blue it goes its previous route and opens up a sodding great gash on my jawline. may be I might have just not exerted enough respect and carry on with a sense of kid gloves. Only these must be those kids gloves with Stanley knife blades sewn in to the fingers. Fuck me, yet another bastard cut under the chin.
Bollocks to this, the shave gets finished with the Evo and how welcome. A mediocre finish though as I am still trying to fend of further blood letting with an army of styptic pencils. I really struggle with this ATT GEM and just don't understand why all the cuts and so unexpectedly. But I will return for a Nightmare on Elm Street III styled shave.
I am a stubborn git
This shave is a Hollands pie on a Saturday night while hammered and food just becomes a drunken necessity. As such it deserves to be finished with a Japanese lady who is probably harder to come to terms with than an ATT G1. Midori
No Sunday shave due to a day of rest, healing and residual fear
Monday............
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Drewtons farm steak pie - Stainless Mongoose
Finest game pie - Feather Super Professional
A top class Cornish pasty - Steven Jagger 30mm Cashmere
Satterthwaites superior pork pie - Acqua Di Parma Collezione Barbiere
Banana basket pie - Extro Arzanchena
Chalk and cheese. Take a pretty efficient razor which doesn't pretend to be mild and throw in a one pretty damn 'sharp as they come' blade. Throw it all over your face at break neck speeds in to one superb shaving medium delivered by one pretty damn big brush and the end results?
Perfection. No blood, no pretence and just one superior shave. A real drooling quality pie of a finish and one deserving to be sober at the time of consumption
Long live the Mongoose and in respect for a great shave I give you the happiest Japanese ladies on planet rock. Pantyhose.
Do I love you all? I do now.
- last time SWMBO demanded to know who was talking to me and why.
